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Sesame Street sent to rehab to make right “choices”  I was reading a book the other day (gasp, college males read books? Sorry fellas, Maxim doesn’t count) and I came across something that for some reason stopped me in my tracks. It was a word, and that word was, “choice.” I don’t know what exactly it was but for some reason in my mind I had completely forgotten how to pronounce it. Ever have that happen to you? If you fixate on a word long enough, say it aloud or in your head, the word loses all meaning andjust becomes gibberish. No, seriously, try it. Choice. Look at it for a little bit, and then say it out loud a couple of times. Choice. Choice. Choice. Hell, by typing it enough times the word just becomes random letters strung together haphazardly to form an amorphous blob of text. And then you start to realize that all words in the English language make no real sense. I mean, who exactly decided to spell a word the way it’s spelled? Soon enough, your entire world will start to crumble around you because the English language as you know it has ceased to exist. That’s about the same time that a study break is needed.
But don’t be fooled, the same thing even happens in regards to numbers. How many of you remember a time when you’ve been staring at a math problem for so long that when you try to do basic subtraction without a calculator, you just blank. For some reason that little subtraction sign just sits there and taunts you because it knows fully well that you have no idea what to do. All you have to do is focus on something until all context is removed and what you will be left with is a lot of confusion and a headache. How many of you watched Sesame Street while growing up? I always wondered how all of those silly muppets lived on such a clean and wholesome street that looked strangely like New York. Now, I don’t know exactly what New York looked like in the 80s (seeing as I was about 5) but I will tell you one thing, there were probably a lot more drugs and a lot less bat-counting. But what if Sesame Street were to actually take place in New York during the 80s? Imagine The Count as a drug dealing kingpin, “Vhat is that you vannnt? You vannnt how many ounces of coke? 1..2...3! 3 ounces of blow!” We all knew Big Bird’s large beak was a gift and a curse. Mainly a curse. And you all know Snuffleupagus wascalled “Snuffy” for a reason. Right down the street we have Cookie Monster, whose addiction to homemade chocolate chip cookies and over-the-counter prescription pills has made him a homeless burnout who sits and asks the muppets who pass by, “C is for change, do you have any for me?” Oscar the Grouch, well, I think he’d be doing the same thing he’s always done, living in a garbage can. And Bert and Ernie? Well, let’s just say they’re standing on the street corner offering “rubber duckies” for $5 a pop. I promise you that you wouldn’t want to be walking down this street late atnight.
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Lifestyles 
