What gloomy weather we’ve been having around here lately. Hopefully, if you’re reading this, you’re not in the rain, but if you are, stop reading and use this magazine for shelter.

Each one moving closer than the next. And you know, the thing is that this wouldn’t really bother me if they didn’t start to build up on the table like a kid with a Lego set. Hell with all these ads on the tables, why not just replace the tables altogether with large kiosks, complete with flyers that no one will ever read, and just enough space for four people to sit at. Sounds like a comfy time to me.

In entertainment news, Sharon Stone has gracefully made her way back to the big screen with the critically acclaimed “Basic Instinct 2,” a sequel that is finally making it to theatres after she famously uncrossed and crossed her legs in the original film.

I’m sorry, I don’t know why but I just made the first part of that sentence up. Let me start over, except with the truth filter on, and the sugarcoating off.

Ahem.

Drawing from the bargain bin section of the entertainment “news,” the near irrelevant Sharon Stone has reprised her role in the cinematic abortion of a film “Basic Instinct 2,” a “heart pounding thriller” that opened in theatres last week. To save you the time and money, “Basic Instinct 2” is about as thrilling as turning on Cinemax after 11p.m. to watch their “after dark” programming. And by thrilling, I mean it’s like watching porn with all of the porn edited out.

Essentially, all you’re really left with in the end is horribly cheesy dialogue and a bad taste in your mouth (har har har.) As if Sharon Stone’s acting wasn’t bad enough.

On the same topic of things that irrationally scare you, I’m going to be fairly honest here and tell you that I am terrified of spiders. Not sharks, not snakes, not lions, and not pit bulls. Why is that you ask? Why am I scared of a little spider, but not of something as large as a bear? It’s because this following scenario could never happen with any of the above, except for with my dreaded little eight legged spider friends of doom.

Let’s pretend for one moment that you are deathly afraid of spiders. Now imagine you see a HUGE spider on the wall, you freak out and in a brilliant moment of rationalization, start to think, “AH! Spider spider spider spider spider spider spider! I must kill it…before it kills me.” So you turn around to grab a tissue to commence the squishing, but when you turn around…it’s gone.

And the worst part?…it could be anywhere. But like I said before, I don’t think bears are smart enough to be that inconspicuous. Unless of course your name was Yogi.

Comments (9)

	1. 12:27AM 04-06-2006
	I don't know why the Pacifican prints this waste of paper every week... Guest

	2. 03:11PM 04-06-2006
	Thats a good question. Maybe you should stop reading it then. Guest

	3. 04:43PM 04-06-2006
	You're assuming I read the article. Maybe I saw that goofy picture and decided to leave a comment.    But to avoid you saying "you should read it before insulting it" I did read it. Mikey Vu couldn't stick to a single subject if his life depended on it. Just another example of how the Pacifican can't seem to figure it out... Guest

	4. 07:41PM 04-06-2006
	Don't blame Mikey Vu's writing style on the entire staff of the pacifican. if you hate it so much why not write for them? Guest

	5. 03:29AM 04-07-2006
	I write in quick blurbs because thats what people want to hear. In case you don't know, college students like their entertainment in easy to digest morsels. Most of this campus enjoys it, that would be the reason that I continue to write it. If you're not one who enjoys it, that's fine, but I'm still not going to pander to you. Guest

Mikey Vu

	6. 03:50AM 04-07-2006
	Furthermore, My column is called Fear and Loathing. so in case you didn't know, it's very hunter s Thompsonesque Guest

	7. 03:21PM 04-07-2006
	Then most college kids are idiots. You included. Guest

	8. 04:19AM 04-08-2006
	f' you shut the hell up nameless. when your balls drop to let all who know what your name is , is when you can talk to shit to mikey vu, until then. you'll remain in the logs of the webserver. ass hat.. please die Guest

john

	9. 09:46PM 04-12-2006
	Shut up you dumb fuck! I don't have any clue who is writing this stuff but i know a good writer when i see one and Mikey makes people LAUGH! laughter beats EVERYTHING! he makes a sick person's day better, he makes a sad girl smile, he makes me laugh out loud again and again.   if you think that makes him a bad writer then you're just plain wrong. say whatever you want about the Pacifican but don't diss Mikey Vu, he has real talent and you, whoever you are, should be thankful to have the opportunity to read his work !     Guest

Erin

Write Comment

Please keep the topic of messages relevant to the subject of the article. Personal verbal attacks will be deleted. Please don't use comments to plug your web site. Such material will be removed. Just ensure to *Refresh* your browser for a new security code to be displayed prior to clicking on the 'Send' button. Keep in mind that the above process only applies if you simply entered the wrong security code.
Name:
BBCode:
Comment:
Code:*

Send to: