 Tales from the LibrarySometimes I feel as if I am incapable of drinking water correctly. Not out of a Nalgene bottle, not out of a water bottle, but embarrisingly, out of a cup. Now before you laugh, allow me to explain myself. Have you ever been drinking water out of a cup, and then you get to the last bit of water and you have to tip the cup back to drink it? And then the ice shifts to the front of the cup causing water to spill un- controllably everywhere. Great.
Now it looks like you’ve just drooled all over yourself. This doesn’t really compare to what happens when you try to wash your hands and the water sprays everywhere. Now, you’re going to have to spend the next forty minutes explaining to people that you didn’t actually just piss your pants, and that it’s just wa- ter. You know what doesn’t spill on your shirt? Books. Anyways, as I sat in the library the other day attempting to dig through my brain to find something funny to talk about, I smacked myself in the head for not realizing it earlier. The library itself is really a funny place. As I looked around the room from the safety of my little computer cubicle, I realized that there are many different types of people in the library. First, we have “the typers.” These are the people that actually came to the library for the right reason: to get work done. You can usu ally find them nose deep in a book, or more commonly on a computer feverishly typing away on keyboard. Next, we have “the wanderers.” I’m sure you know who these people are because they’re constantly walking back and forth between the same places over and over again. They’re always pacing around with a backpack on, rarely stopping at one spot for too long. Often times, they have a very confused look on their face as if they are looking for something but they themselves aren’t even quite sure what. In that respect, they’re kind of like that crazy bag lady you always see at S-Mart, minus the whole toothless and hurling obscenities aspect. Let us not forget about the people in the study rooms that constantly forget that the rooms are not soundproofed. This leads to more hilarity than anything else in the library. I can’t even tell you how many times while doing my work that I’ve overheard people talking about “that rash” that they got from a questionable hook-up the week before. It’s not eavesdropping if you’re yelling it out for the entire library to hear. Last but definitely not least is perhaps the strangest of those who dwell in the library. Although it could be argued that these people are a subcategory of “the wanderers” or “the typers”, let me assure you, if you’ve seen them in action they are the sneakiest of them all. These are of course “the prowlers.” While other students are typing away on the Dell piece-of-crap keyboards, “the prowlers” are staking out the entire computer section of the library wondering to themselves, “Where da’ ladies at?” Then they wait for the opportune moment when that cubicle next to the hot girl opens up. Next, they sit down and try their best to put on their game face. “So...what’s up? Uh.. I see you like typing… I too enjoy typing. Wanna make out?” I’m sorry, but this is the library, not Blind Date. If it were, there would be text bubbles popping up everywhere, and then a picture of a clip art therapist would appear next to the guy with a thought bubble that says something like, “What she doesn’t know is that he is a registered sex offender!” As I said, the library can be a fun and amusing place if you know where to look.
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