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Page 1 of 2  Through the past three weeks I’ve analyzed partying and the ins and outs of what we do. But no one has come to me asking to do an article about the most bad ass partier of them all. This man shows up at parties with a belt of beers. This man can out drink anyone under the table. This man is Pacifics’ Stiffler.
For those of you who are behind on your times check out American Pie and all their sequel films to learn more about the real Stiffler. For he is the man who mom was apart of the M.I.L.F. movement, he hosted parties at his house every weekend and most of all his ego and personality drove him to either be liked or hated by others.
This man is a genius in his own right. A business major who became known as “Stiffler” after his freshman year. His room mates the previous two years have referred to him as Stiffler. But where does the name come from? His peers decided that he looked like Stiffler from American Pie. The doofus look on his face, his fit body and his ego to make him be the party animal at any event. Ask the Pre-pharms, he warmed them up to shots one night.
Few students remember their freshman year, and those who do, they didn’t party it up enough. Of course, I am sure Pacific’s administration will attempt to cover this up since we are “not” a party school and the Stiffmeister will down play that accusation. 
Stiffmeister, Stiffler, Stiffy, and Stiff are just a few of the names people call him. Few people call him by his real name, and for you, that’s unimportant. This twenty year old party animal is keeping Pacific’s past alive, back when you could walk across campus with an open container and no one would care. Back when Fraternities could host parties with kegs in their basement and no one would get in trouble. Back when Pacific wasn’t worried about their image. *sigh*
So where does Pacific’s best kept asset live? Not in the townhouses as “if I lived in the townies I’d never go to class.” And this is true, as a 15 minute walk to the business school is too far and too long versus his roll-out-bed experience from past couple years in Grace.
So if he’s not in the Townies and he is too “old” to live in the dorms then that leaves him the UC’s playing Beirut and XBOX to his hearts content. He has said in the past that he “pawns off DVD’s and XBOX games” to pay for a nights worth of booze. I think it has something to do with Pacific’s student lack of wanting to pay for their own booze, something I have yet to figure out.
So as a junior now what does he do? After “dominating Grace’s party scene” he got tired of that. Usually his place is the place to be on campus when the campus is dead (like last Saturday for instance). ASUOP can hold a “Tiger Nights” but people usually end up at his place to dance and try their hand against him and his room mate in a game of Beirut.
As far as global warming is concerned, he recycles the cans of beer he buys. Since he is dropping $100 bones a week on booze he may as well recycle the aluminum. When you buy anything in a can, you pay CRV which you get back when you recycle. Stiffler is a proud supporter of recycling and his room mates are as well. I mean, they put up with the stench of old beer in their hallway for weeks on end, right?
Pacific’s Stiffler will stick around at Pacific till he views their time has come when they can go back and be the real party school they are meant to be. If not, then someone else has to step up and fill the void. So Pacific students step up your game and show us what you’re capable of doing. Go out, have fun and party on. This is college; this is what you came here to do.
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Perspectives 
BOOOOOOOOO