Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller are a romantic couple who met at their Alma Mater, Brown University. They have appeared on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, The O’Reilly Factor, National Public Radio, USA Today, Time magazine, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, and numerous other newspapers, and television shows.

This was not the typical lecture at Pacific. The attitude in the Hall was more like a concert than an informative presentation. Once inside, people socialized, found their friends and then proceeded to do what anyone born within the last 25 years does when in a social environment: take pictures of each other. Some were modeling their “I Heart Female Orgasm” t-shirts. Who knew it had so many admirers? At one point the crowd went so far as to start a clapping routine normally heard at sporting events.

One student commented, “I haven’t seen this place this packed since Mentor!”

“Hand picked female O songs” were welcoming the large number of guests as they struggled to find a place to sit.

Representatives of the non-profit Feminist Majority Foundation, Olivia Ortiz and Sandi Lyman, started off the evening by urging students to vote no on Proposition 85, which they explained would change the California Constitution so that girls under the age of 18 need to involve their parents when having an abortion.

Ortiz and Lyman, not affiliated with the main speakers for the evening, were advocating, "free sex." By “free sex” they meant that all people should have the freedom to have good sex, and, in their view, good sex hangs on the factor that a woman has 'complete reproductive freedom.'

"Essentially, we advocate freedom from fear," Olivia Ortiz said.

Lynsey Bourke and Caitlin Rusche of the Pacific Center for Feminist Action organized the event. The P.C.F.A. is a brand new organization on campus that worked very hard to make this event a reality.

After the formalities, Dorian and Marshall were welcomed by loud cheers. They explained that they have personal and professional experience since they are a couple.

They started off the presentation with a joke that set the tone for the evening.

Dorian said to the audience, "I won’t ask you to turn off your cell phones, but instead to put them on vibrate." The audience definitely got the joke. This set the stage for a discussion that would range from topics like masturbation and vibrators to faked orgasms and orgasm stereotypes.

They showed a clip from “When Harry Met Sally” in which Meg Ryan’s character fakes an orgasm in the middle of a diner to prove to Billy Crystal’s character that men most likely have no idea how often the women they sleep with are faking their orgasms.

However the presentation was more than just jokes. Dorian said, “This is a fun discussion, but it is also more than just a fun discussion; it is a health issue." She then segued into a personal story about her experience with breast cancer.

Dorian was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 26, which is an abnormally young age for such a cancer and she attributes the early diagnosis to her comfort with her own body. She felt the lump herself and had it checked out by her doctor. She says that thankfully she was comfortable enough with her body to have found such a thing so early on. She is in her 6th year of breast cancer survival and in remission.

They discussed how it is important to have information about sex and sexual topics, citing a story about a Dean they had at Brown who gave a yearly presentation on masturbation.

Dorian then shared her personal experience with masturbation. She comes from a family that was open about sex and masturbation, but for whatever reason she was never interested in masturbating until college. She bought a book from her student bookstore about self-pleasuring, and she said “By the end of my first semester, when I had my first orgasm, I decided it was the best $5.99 I had ever spent."

While most women cite masturbation as one of their top two ways to achieve orgasm, the other being oral sex, Marshall commented that some men are completely oblivious to a woman’s desire for an orgasm. And this may be due to the myth that there is no such thing as a female orgasm, but Dorian assured the audience that 90-95% of women have had orgasms, and most of the rest can learn how but haven't yet. 50%, she said, have experienced an orgasm by the age of 15.

People simply are not taught about the female orgasm but it is important. Marshall explained how some women during sex feel like saying, “HELLO! I want an orgasm toooo!” which many women in the audience seemed to relate to.

They went on to make the joke: “Why do women fake orgasm? Because men fake foreplay." Of course this is not always the case, and often it is not a man’s fault.

 It was explained that the average man takes two to five minutes to orgasm while the average woman takes 20 minutes. Also only 30% of women can have an orgasm through intercourse alone. This is due to the fact that a woman’s most sensitive sexual organ, the clitoris, is located on the outside of the female body. The clitoris is female equivalent to the male penis.

There is another reason a man may have a hard time giving a woman an orgasm and that is lack of education. Dorian and Marshall explained that the two main sources people have for sex education are often porn and/or their school sex education program and both often fall short.

They explained that porn is unrealistic and lacks communication because the communication goes on offstage. And schools, they said, often show pictures that completely omit the clitoris and then the education extends strictly to how to “say no” and that if they must have sex then to use protection.

They made the joke that most people know everything about fallopian tubes but have only a vague idea about the clitoris. And that most people will likely never need to know what a fallopian tube is.

Dorian asked the audience a few questions like what sort of emotional, physical or mental things can help a woman have an orgasm. Some answers were shower jets, vibrators, lubrication, relaxation and alcohol. Dorian agreed that these can all be helpful with the exception of drinking large quantities of alcohol, which can numb the nerve endings in the clitoris and make orgasm impossible at the time. She continued on to say while alcohol can help a person to relax, she would rather people feel comfortable enough with their bodies that they can have an orgasm sober. Dorian and Marshall explained that communication is key.

Pioneering research team Masters and Johnson discovered what they called the Arousal Cycle.

This consists of 4 stages:

• Excitement phase
• Plateau phase which can go on for a long time
• Orgasm, basically a series of muscle contractions
• Resolution phase
  

Dorian emphasized the fact that the plateau stage, where excitement levels out, can go on for a long time so women should be patient and not give up.

Another topic was kegel exercises. A kegel is what people do to stop themselves from urinating midstream. It requires the flexing of the pelvic floor muscles. Marshall explained that people can practice this all of the time. The more people practice the better their orgasms can feel.

Marshall added that if a man does kegels and other techniques consistently for about a year he may learn how to have multiple orgasms by preventing ejaculation the first time.

On the topic of ejaculation, Dorian and Marshall clarified that women too can ejaculate. When something rubs or puts pressure on a women’s g-spot, which is a couple of inches inside their vagina and feels like ridgy tissue, the woman’s urethral sponge is also being rubbed. Glands in this part of the urethra and then produces fluids that can ejaculate when properly stimulated. Men can ejaculate in the same way but the male equivalent of the g-spot is inside their anus and pressure would be applied to the prostrate.

Many women have ejaculated but thought they were peeing. It is highly unlikely this is  the case, so Dorian suggests going to the bathroom when you have the sensation like you are going to pee. Once you empty your bladder, you can know that it is ejaculate and not urine. 

The presentation then returned to the topic of the female orgasm. Dorian had 6 steps for females who desire to have their first orgasm.

1. Start alone.
2. Befriend your body.
3. Befriend your vulva (Check it out!).
4. Touch yourself experimentally. No goal!
5. Keep touching everyday. Experience whatever happens. Don’t give up.
6. Experiments with tensing and relaxing.
7. Use fantasy.
   

They ended the presentation with their favorite device that has been used as a vibrator, the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 electronic flying broomstick, which received roars of laughter. They explained how the toy’s description says it “makes a swooshing sound and vibrates and if one wants to be like Harry Potter, they would put it between their legs”. Eventually, toy maker Mattel caught on to why this toy was so wildly popular and took it off the market.

The night educational about a subject that is seldom talked about. The two take home points were patience and foreplay. T-shirts were sold with 25% of the proceeds going to Breast Cancer Action.

For more information check out:
www.ilovefemaleorgasm.com
www.feministcampus.org
Or email:

There are also a variety of books available on the subject:
The Survivors Guide to Sex
Victims No Longer
Femilia
Petals
 

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Written by paulina! on 2006-10-17 22:53:24 "befriend your vulva--check it out!" HAHA    my best friend,and always my hero.

male g-spot Written by on 2006-10-17 22:54:29 the male g-spot is inside the anus.    that is exactly what i wanted to read while eating my dinner.

DEAR ERIN! Written by on 2006-10-18 15:20:42 Thank you very-very-very much for having the balls, neigh, the vulvatic orgasmic desire to inform the much deserving population of the HARD truth...    Love,  marcel.

Written by on 2006-10-26 11:34:12

I Heart the Female "O" Written by Erin's mom on 2006-10-26 13:58:40 Great writing, great reading. Well done!

Uhm Written by anon on 2007-12-05 23:14:15 uhm.. somewhere up there it stated that 50% of women had experienced an orgasm by the age of 15... I was in foster care at the age of 3 and the other kids would masterbate in groups and I learned from them and had my first orgasm at the age of 3... It's not something I talk about but I figured it might be useful information to someone out there who studies this sort of thing.

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Ernesto Written by Abel on 2008-07-20 10:57:27 1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81   http://njdokj.info/cb92badc40b9ed57e737a60266476ef3/1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81   http://njdokj.info/cb92badc40b9ed57e737a60266476ef3/1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81   [url]http://njdokj.info/cb92badc40b9ed57e737a60266476ef3/1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81[url]

Ernesto Written by Abel on 2008-07-20 10:57:30 1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81   http://njdokj.info/cb92badc40b9ed57e737a60266476ef3/1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81   http://njdokj.info/cb92badc40b9ed57e737a60266476ef3/1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81   [url]http://njdokj.info/cb92badc40b9ed57e737a60266476ef3/1f59d25ce84e03b0a363e97e926b5b81[url]

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