 “Get out of my facebook, youʼre invading Myspace” Facebook. Myspace. We all know them, some of us love them, some of us hate them. These two defining, online networking sites have their own distinct group of supporters and users. First we have the Myspacers, some are affectionately known as “myspace whores.” Classic symptoms include: mindlessly adding people who are neither your friends nor your passing acquaintances, a profile picture that features yourself looking disinterested and off camera for some reason (bonus points if it’s in a grainy black and white Photoshop filter, how else are you convey your dark, dark abyss of never ending pain?), and my personal favorite, a fully “customized” Myspace page.
Upon my perusal of some of these Myspace pages, I become painfully aware that the majority of these users are, for some reason or another, stuck in 90’s era internet. People, I feel like I am doing a service for well being of people’s eyesight everywhere when I say, Myspace does not equal Geocities. And when I say this I’m referring to those pages with the shitty GIFS looped over and over again, the ones that just scream out, “The amount of animated gifs I have on my page are directly proportional to how many people love me!” when it is really inversely proportional.
Also, has half of the American population not heard of chain mail by now? People, it’s 2006 already, just because you do not send some email to 30 people on your buddy list, does not mean that someone will get murdered, ghosts will haunt you, or you will find your “one true love” instantly.  Now we move on to the Facebookers. These are the snobs of online networking world. While anyone with a computer can log into Myspace, up until recently, you had to be attending a college to join Facebook. You can see how this leads to a sense of elitism. But don’t be mistaken, Facebook has its own little subculture as well, and we lovingly refer to them as “Facebook stalkers.” The difference between Myspace and Facebook become abundantly clear here, because while on Myspace you may obsessively click on everyone’s profile, on Facebook you attend classes with all of these people. Not to mention the Facebook Newsfeed or as I like to call it “Stalking For Dummies.”
As far as customization goes, Facebook has it’s own little quirks. Poking for example, being the most useless of them all. I can’t fathom why someone would integrate this function into any website, besides promoting that grade-school adolescent way of flirting with someone. “Tee-hee! She totally just sent me a poke, I am SO in.” Why not just add a “spit on”, “kick in shin”, or “tug hair” option to, you know, give it a more balanced appeal. And that’s all I got for this week folks.
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