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[Remember, this is entirely false, enjoy.] On Thursday March 29th President George Bush made an unannounced visit to the University of the Pacific. Due to national security reasons the President was seen only by a small audience of students. No administrator, faculty, nor staff was invited.
In fact, the news came as a shock to University officials who were not informed until the President had vacated campus. Following Arizona Republican Senator John McCain’s Myspace page that recently advocated for gay marriage, President Bush said he will consider submitting a bill to congress advocating for the legality of same-sex marriages. Part of the reason for the visit was to look at the Pacific campus. Bush’s twin daughters are looking into the University for Graduate School. President Bush was asked by concerned students about the continual rise of gasoline prices. He agreed, “This is a tough time for Americans, and we need to ride it out, even if that means walking more.” His administration was happy to pass out gift cards to all of the students present which would be active for one year and pay for all gas purchases. As part of dealing with the increased national debt, a potential national crisis, the President said he will be writing personal letters to America’s wealthiest and asking them to please donate to the national debt, tax deductible, of course.
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