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The Science of Sleep  So I guess that my “retirement” from writing articles for The Pacifican didn’t last too long. To be honest, I had two choices: endure the incessant nagging from readers wondering where my column was… or... just try to squeeze out a couple more for everyone. I guess it’s time to pull a Jay- Z. Have you ever noticed the different types of characters that are found in classrooms? It’s a pretty universal thing, every class, no matter what major, subject, or teacher, will always have the same types of people in the class. There are some of my personal favorites such as “the sleepers.” You know these people, you’ve seen them, hell you’ve probably been one of them at some point, but all you have to do is look around any lecture hall and you will find at least four of your fellow classmates “resting their eyes.” But even a small group like “the sleepers” can be subdivided into three categories.
First, we have the covert sleepers. These are the ones that will try their best to hide the fact that they are sleeping. They will employ any mode of sneakiness into their repertoire, from the classic resting your temple under a cupped hand to hide your face method, to more advanced tactics which employ holding a pen in your hand to pretend that you are taking notes at the same time. But honestly? Who are you kidding? No one in the history of college ever took notes with their hand cupped over their eyes. This would make sense if say… there was a sun inside of the classroom, but really? I don’t think those florescent lights are going to be blinding anyone anytime soon. In the next subdivision of “the sleepers” we have are the head nodders. These are the people that are actually really trying to stay awake, but at some point during the class, gravity takes over,and their head slowly starts to fall towards the desk. I have found that these are the most amusing people to watch, as there are only two possible out omes. The first being their face actually hits the desk, which usually creates a very satisfying thud, or they snap their head right back up in hopes that no one saw them doze off. I’m surprised some of these folks don’t suffer from severe cases of whiplash. The best part is that usually they will look around to make sure no one saw them, when in reality, half the class has already taken camera pictures and will make sure that everyone in the world sees you drooling all over yourself during Bio lecture. The internet is an amazing thing isn’t it? Finally, the last subdivision of “the sleepers” is the ever prevalent nap timers. These are the folks that simply do not care. They will come into class with their rabbit foot jammies on, a pillow in their backpack, and within two seconds of coming into class, promptly pass out. To put it simply, they just do not give a damn. Maybe they just miss the days of kindergarten when nap times were required. If I were them, I’d just flat out ask the teacher for a juice box and some animal crackers just to complete the experience. Imagine the dreams these people must have while they’re sleeping. Imagine falling asleep during an English class. “So I had this dream, I was being chased by someone! I didn’t know what it was so I kept running, and like all my old friends from high school were there, then all of a sudden I was in Denmark, and there were all these people with weird names like Laertes and some crazy girl named Polonius, and all of a sudden everyone started killing one another!” Everything is all good as long as you don’t have a dream about failing a test. Because chances are if you do, when you wake up, you’ll probably be turning in a blank test.
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